Romantic relationships have long been portrayed as a central aspect of women’s emotional lives, a portrayal reinforced by cultural depictions that suggest women are more emotionally dependent on their partners than men. Popular narratives have consistently reinforced this belief: women, depicted as nurturing and relational, prioritize romantic bonds, while men, traditionally thought to be independent and emotionally reserved, are assumed to be less dependent on their partners for emotional fulfillment. However, recent research, led by Iris V. Wahring and colleagues, challenges these assumptions, providing a fresh and more nuanced understanding of how romantic relationships affect men and women differently in terms of emotional well-being. Their findings, soon to be published in Behavioral & Brain Sciences, suggest that, contrary to popular belief, romantic relationships might be more central to men’s overall well-being than to women’s.
In their comprehensive study, the researchers draw from interdisciplinary research across psychology, sociology, and evolutionary biology to offer an evidence-backed analysis that flips traditional thinking on its head. They argue that men are more likely to depend on their romantic partners for emotional intimacy and well-being, with relationships serving as the primary source of emotional and psychological support in their lives. For women, while romantic relationships are important, they are not as central as they are for men, who tend to have fewer alternative avenues for fulfilling emotional needs outside of their romantic connections. This differentiation between the sexes arises largely due to gendered socialization patterns—a factor that shapes how men and women approach relationships and intimacy.
The Emotional Foundation of Relationships for Men
Wahring and colleagues propose that men rely more heavily on their romantic relationships than women because they are often discouraged from seeking and forming deep, emotional connections outside of their partnerships. Women, by contrast, are generally encouraged from an early age to develop broader social networks that include close friendships and family ties, providing them with multiple sources of emotional support. These networks enable women to navigate emotional challenges more effectively without overburdening their romantic partners. Men, however, are more likely to view their partners as their primary emotional resource.
This idea is supported by the first of the four key findings highlighted in the study, which suggests that men tend to expect greater benefits from their relationships. In comparison to women, men perceive romantic partnerships as offering a more substantial improvement in their overall well-being, because they have fewer emotional outlets. Men’s greater reliance on their partners means that they are often more motivated to seek out relationships in the first place. Research cited in the study indicates that single men are more likely than single women to actively search for a partner, often idealizing the concept of romantic love. Men are also more likely to fall in love more quickly and with greater intensity, demonstrating a stronger drive to form and maintain romantic connections.
Further backing this claim, studies have shown that men are more likely to believe in the idea of “love at first sight”, and they frequently express love earlier in relationships. This romantic idealism is, in part, rooted in men’s dependence on their partners for fulfillment in ways that women do not experience as acutely.
Health Benefits and Dependencies
The second finding from Wahring and her colleagues explores the significant mental and physical health benefits that men derive from romantic involvement, reinforcing the idea that relationships are more crucial to men’s well-being than to women’s. Romantic partnerships provide men with important emotional support, resulting in a variety of positive health outcomes. Several studies indicate that men in committed relationships enjoy higher life satisfaction, improved mental health, and better physical health compared to single men. Single men are notably more prone to loneliness, stress, and depression, and are at a heightened risk for adverse health outcomes, including reduced life expectancy.
In contrast, women tend to rely on a larger and more diversified emotional support network, reducing their dependence on romantic relationships for these health benefits. As a result, the relationship between relationship status and health outcomes is weaker for women. Married women do experience health benefits, but the disparity is not as stark as it is for men, where the benefits of being in a partnership are much more pronounced.
For men, a lack of romantic involvement can lead to suboptimal health outcomes. The study refers to research showing that single men are more likely to experience chronic health issues such as hypertension, increased inflammation, and other markers of stress. In contrast, men who are married or in long-term relationships tend to show lower levels of these health issues.
Reluctance to End Relationships and the Impact of Breakups
The third and fourth findings touch on how men’s emotional dependence on their partners impacts their ability to initiate breakups and their responses to relationship dissolution. According to the study, men are less likely to end relationships than women, a tendency that reflects the high emotional cost they associate with losing a primary source of emotional intimacy. It is well-documented that women tend to initiate a significant portion of divorces and breakups—around 70% of divorces are filed by women—and this trend holds true in non-marital relationships as well. The researchers suggest that men’s reluctance to end relationships is largely because they view the loss of emotional and intimate support as too great a price to pay.
Interestingly, men are less likely to see breakups as an opportunity for personal growth or self-discovery, which women often report finding after ending a relationship. As a result, men are more likely to remain in unfulfilling relationships or struggle with prolonged distress after a breakup occurs.
The psychological toll of breakups is particularly profound for men. The study reveals that, following the dissolution of a romantic relationship, men are more likely than women to experience depression, loneliness, and a decrease in life satisfaction. Moreover, men face more severe physical health consequences after a breakup, including a higher risk of suicide, cardiovascular issues, and overall mortality. In contrast, women typically have stronger social networks, relying on friends and family for emotional support after a breakup. These additional sources of care contribute to women’s ability to recover more quickly and cope more effectively with the stress of relationship endings.
Societal Norms and Emotional Vulnerability
The authors also connect these findings to broader societal and cultural norms that discourage emotional vulnerability in men. From a young age, men are socialized to prioritize traits like independence, emotional restraint, and self-reliance. These traits encourage them to suppress their emotions and avoid expressing vulnerability, which reduces the likelihood that they will seek support from their peers or family. Consequently, when emotional distress arises, men are more likely to turn to their romantic partners, reinforcing the primacy of romantic relationships in their lives.
Conversely, women’s emotional vulnerability is more widely accepted, and they are encouraged to share their feelings with a wide array of people, leading them to build deeper connections outside their romantic partnerships. Women thus benefit from a more diverse range of emotional resources, meaning that their romantic relationships do not carry the same weight in terms of emotional fulfillment.
The Importance of Reconsidering Gendered Narratives in Relationships
Wahring and her colleagues argue that these findings call for a reevaluation of cultural narratives around gender and relationships. Many assumptions about men’s emotional independence and women’s greater romantic attachment have shaped both academic discourse and public policy in ways that overlook men’s vulnerabilities and their emotional dependence on romantic partnerships. Recognizing this can help mitigate the social stigma that discourages men from seeking emotional support, which could in turn help improve their emotional and psychological well-being.
However, the researchers acknowledge that their conclusions are primarily based on studies of Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic (WEIRD) populations, focusing mostly on heterosexual relationships. This limitation suggests that future research could benefit from considering how these gendered dynamics play out in non-Western and non-heteronormative contexts, offering a more comprehensive view of romantic relationships across diverse cultures.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this study by Wahring and colleagues provides important insights into the ways romantic relationships impact men and women differently, challenging long-standing cultural myths. Men’s greater dependence on romantic relationships for emotional support, mental and physical health, and social fulfillment is a phenomenon often overlooked in traditional gender norms. By reshaping the conversation around the importance of romantic involvement, researchers can gain a more accurate understanding of how emotional connections influence well-being, ultimately improving support systems for both men and women. The findings in this research carry profound implications for mental health, social policy, and personal relationships, suggesting that romantic connections play a far more central role in the lives of men than has previously been appreciated.